How I Survived My First Month Abroad as an Au Pair

Short version? I questioned everything, cried a little, learned a lot… and somehow made it through. Here’s what actually helped:

1. Lowering My Expectations Helped Me Breathe

I thought I’d instantly bond with the kids, love the family, and feel like a European movie character. Reality? The kids were shy (or wild), I felt awkward 24/7, and everything was unfamiliar.

Survival tip: Treat the first month like a “warm-up round.” You’re not supposed to have it all figured out yet.

2. I Took Breaks—Even 5 Minutes Alone Helped

Living and working in the same house is intense. I felt guilty for needing space, but even hiding in my room with headphones on for 10 minutes helped me reset.

Survival tip: Find your quiet spot. You are allowed to rest, even if the family feels nonstop.

3. I Wrote Everything Down

From routines to words the kids used to how the washing machine worked—I journaled, made notes, and created little cheat sheets. It made me feel in control.

Survival tip: Don’t rely on memory when everything is new. Writing it down = less stress, fewer mistakes.

4. I Reached Out (Even When It Felt Weird)

I joined an au pair group on WhatsApp and messaged strangers. Yup. “Hey, I’m new here—anyone free to grab coffee?” It felt awkward, but most people were super kind.

Survival tip: The best way to feel less alone is to talk to people who get it. Even just one friend changes everything.

5. I Stopped Trying to “Earn” My Place

At first, I tried too hard to be helpful, to blend in, to be perfect. But that’s exhausting. Once I relaxed and was just me, everything got better.

Survival tip: You’re not a guest or an employee. You’re a human learning a new life. Be gentle with yourself.

The First Month Isn’t Easy… But It’s Powerful

That first month abroad taught me more about myself than any comfort zone ever could. If you’re in your first month now: you’re doing enough. Surviving is succeeding.